R.H. Pregnancy story

 

Today I know that each birth is a miracle...

 

It happened five years ago. Back then I didn't know what I know today. It was my first pregnancy. I was very happy and anticipating for my baby to arrive.

I signed up for a childbirth preparation course. I aimed myself for a natural birth and even took a doula to escort me through the process. Deep inside I was afraid and Wasn't sure if I can handle a natural birth.

 

In week 42 my water suddenly broke. My husband drove me to the hospital. On the way we notified our families and the doula that the time has come. My contractions didn't develop.

 

We waited 24 hours in the hospital, but it was starting to be really dangerous because my water already broke. The doctors took me to the delivery room. I heard classical music and brought with me some candles and hope. Everyone was very supportive.

I was in horrific pain. Every time I had a contraction my embryo's pulse went down. Twelve hours had passed and I still was in the same situation. The doctors decided to give me an epidural. My doctors tried everything already and I was about to give up. After almost 40 hours the nurse came in and I was already in tears. I just wanted to feel like a person again. I asked the nurse to braid my hair and so she did.

 

At am the hospital staff changed and the doctor decided that they waited enough. I was going into surgery. My husband knew the surgeon and spoke with him. I was carried away in the hospital bed to the surgery room and I still remember the smell of medicine. I was very much alert and had a sense of fear. In addition, I was starting to feel nausea and a failure as a mother. I was thinking to myself "please just don't faint, cause then everything will just get worse". The surgery was quick and my husband and doula were waiting outside. The baby was brought to my husband and I just wanted to go to sleep and cry. I cried about the fact that I wasn't able to give birth naturally.

 

Three years went by and I was pregnant again. We were expecting another girl. This time around I wanted to be in charge and decide that I will be managing over. I choose a private doctor. When I got to week 41 I told my doctor that I would rather go into surgery. The reason was because I didn't want to suffer twice, starting a natural birth, which may end up in a cesarean again. This time I walked into the surgery room. It was quick and ended successfully.

Today I'm fit and don't have any marks to show what I went through. It took me three years to recover from my first birth. It left me a bit traumatized. My second birth made up for it. I took control over my body and was responsible for it. It felt great.

 

Today I know that each birth is a miracle. Anytime the baby and mother are healthy, we should be grateful. Thank god for having a cesarean. Today I know that I'm a great mother of two wonderful girls. That's what matters in the end.

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